Great Exblogtations

I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this malarkey up; you know, the once-weekly blog posting business. I’m just being honest with you as this blog has actually transpired into being my online diary. And as a diary, you must listen to all kinds of crap that I come out with. I’m starting to think that my life isn’t interesting enough to bombard you with once-weekly updates. Well, actually, it kind of is – but a great deal of what I write, I don’t feel comfortable in posting for these reasons:- 1) It could be deemed as mildly offensive to one or more persons I know or have known. Only mildly – why does everyone have to be so touchy? 2) A lot of my rejected posts have become a little too maudlin in nature. There’s being honest and then there’s being honest. 3) Sometimes I think the things I write make me come across badly. I need to avoid being a) too bleety b) too know-it-ally c) too makey-up-wordy. And nobody wants to be accused of that.

When I started blogging in January 2015, I posted daily. This was not sustainable for the types of posts I’m interested in writing (longer reads/essays, if you will) so I soon cut back to alternate days. And then the lazy slob within me told me this was also far too difficult to maintain so I dropped down to once a week – where I’ve sat fairly comfortably. Until now. I’m an avid reader of other blog posts which talk about the art of blogging and most tend to allude to the fact that it’s best to post once a week at a minimum or you will lose your audience. Apparently audiences expect regularity (damn you! Damn you to Hades!). As an aside, if I ever write a post on the subject of ‘how to blog’ (which I won’t, because I know nothing), I’m going to title it,‘Seventeen and a Half Reasons Why I Have No Blogging Tips of Any Value to Give You’. I think it will be my most popular post yet (so stay tuned for that).

Now WordPress (the site on which this blog is based) insist that I have 299 followers at last count. I still maintain they are trying to flatter my ego – I mean, who could these 299 followers possibly be (well, you are one of them – and I love YOU the most)? No really, every Saturday exactly ten new followers appear on the counter so I’m starting to think somebody is having a bit of a laugh at my expense. But anyway, that would mean I could potentially brighten the livesdisappoint nearly 300 people by reducing the regularity of my posts. Would all these followers instantly abandon ship for a more productive blogger than me?

Here’s how it works. Usually, on Monday evening I will write the bare bones of a blog. Often the idea will spring from a title. A good title is nine tenths of the law, I always say. I don’t know why I say this because it doesn’t make any sense. Then I leave the draft alone for a couple of days. I cast fresh eyes over it midweek, then on Friday night I polish it. One more read-through on Saturday morning, then boom, I hit publish. And then I can ride the lazy train all weekend –choo-choo! But Monday rolls around again all too soon. Lately, it’s been getting to Friday and I still have nothing! This self-imposed deadline is starting to get to me.

So here’s the crux of the problem; I’m crazy-busy right now. I’m a mother (yawn! Who isn’t? Well, a father, I suppose…). I have a day-job (super-exaggerated-yawn! Yeah? And? So?). And I have two completed novels; book 2 and 3 from a trilogy, in desperate need of editing (Yawny McYawnerson!). If I’m entirely honest, I only got into this blogging lark because I published a book (ooh, shall I insert a link whereby shamelessly promoting said book? Nah, can’t be arsed. You can find it in the ‘pages’ section if you like) and all the advice on the internet suggested that writers need to have a blog. So now I do. It just happened to transpire that I thoroughly enjoyed blogging; there’s a freedom of expression in blogging that you just don’t get when writing a book. Oh and books are longer – therefore harder to write. Who knew.

So what to do, what to do? It all comes back to one thing really. Does anybody really care? Is anybody here now? Echo…echo… Apart from the people who ‘like’, or leave a comment below or comment on Google+ or FaceBook, I have no idea who really reads this blog. All I see are the figures in my stats and which country you lovely people come from (and I’ll tell you what, 300 people do NOT visit at every blog posting). As an interesting aside, the majority of you are from the UK or the USA – you’re my tied-top-supporters (but I love all nations, me). I could go all old-school-retro and post some popular, vintage blog from my back-catalogue now and then. Not any old crap, y’know – posts that I’m actually proud of. That could be good because I’ve waymore followers now than I had at the beginning – and how many new people go and look back through your archives? None of them do, that’s how many (and I only say this as I don’t go back through the archives of other people’s blogs so I couldn’t expect any person with a life to do something I can’t). But I’ve only got eight months of material to choose from. Adversely, I could change the way I blog; write shorter pieces or maybe just post a photo on the odd occasion. Some would probably prefer that I didn’t ramble on so much – but that just isn’t really me. Not at the moment anyway.

Well, for now I guess I’ll just carry on as I am. Usually I can cobble something together and on some weeks I am gifted with an occurrence that I can be sarcastic about satirically use my observational humour on. There was the general election, Glastonbury, the arrival of a stray cat…just certain events in my social calendar really. If I can milk a blog out of something (without offending somebody or betraying a confidence), trust me, I bloody well will. But I just need you to understand (because you’re my diary and you have no choice), that it isn’t easy. I earn zero money from blogging (that’s okay, I do it for the love!) so sometimes other aspects of my life will have to take precedence. But you know deep down in my heart, I’m still thinking of you.

PS: Just to point out, this blog isn’t as long as other previous posts. So you can see – already things are slipping *sigh*

PPS: I’m on holiday this week so God know what old dross you’ll get next Saturday…