Hello and welcome to my book launch party! I’ll be honest with you, it’s a virtual party and I’ve provided absolutely no alcohol or dancing. But you’re welcome to read this blog post whilst you’re completely smashed, if that helps. And if you choose to be dancing about your front room at the same time, nobody will judge you. Least of all me.
So, I hereby announce the launch of my new book, ‘American Cousins’ (International Relations part II)! Yay! This took a mere eighteen months since the release of the first book (and that’s eighteen months of editing, mind – not writing. I’m a lazy sod). Anyway, if you want it, it’s out on Kindle and in paperback from Amazon. But it’s up to you, no pressure, I’ll still love you if you don’t – no hard sell from me. Much.
To be fair, this is not much of a blog post. I doubt I’ll hit a 1000 words. I was going to have the weekend off. Y’know, my husband is at Glastonbury, my daughter is away at a wedding and I was thinking of having an entirely writing-free couple of days. I’d be slobbing out on the sofa, staring aimlessly at a BBC adaptation of a period drama on Netflix (probably the six-hour ‘Pride and Prejudice’ or the six-hour ‘Emma’ or the six-hour ‘Jane Eyre’ marathon. Maybe all three back-to-back. Eighteen hours with only snack and toilet breaks) or something. It’s been so long that I’ve felt I’ve had nothing to do in my spare time that it feels a bit weird. The pressure (self-imposed, but pressure all the same) is finally off.
Actually no, it’s not off. There’s a third book to edit now. Which probably sounds like a walk in the park, but editing is way harder than writing. So undoubtedly, it’ll be another eighteen months before I get around to publishing that bastard thing. I’m frikkin’ prolific, me! But when I finally submit book III, that will be a day to celebrate. I will actually have NOTHING to do on my days off. I’ll probably be all skippetty-hoppetty at first. Then the gloom will set in. I expect I’ll feel lost. Then I’ll feel hopeless because I haven’t got an idea for a new book. Maybe I’ll have to hang up my pen and pack it all in when that day comes (can you hang up a pen? I suppose if you tied a bit of string to it, you could. Plus, I always type on a laptop, so I’d have to tie a bit of rope to that and hang it somewhere. It’s a logistical nightmare, that’s what it is).
Anyway, to any of you who WERE expectantly awaiting the publication of my second book (all three of you), I apologise profusely. I was having problems with plot structure and possessive plurals and overuse of the word ‘nonchalant’. I know I blame this for everything that is wrong with my life, but I’m a superficially educated Cockney who was raised by wolves. Sorry, that’s not true, but sometimes being ‘good with words’ just wasn’t quite enough. But I ensured I was all tooled-up for these books (being that many of my tools are still missing – scroll down and see last post), and I’ve edited this baby to within an inch of its life.
So like I say, this is a brief blog from me. You’re probably pleased. You’re that much closer to getting up and having a cup of coffee (if you aren’t already drunk and dancing around on your own in your pyjamas in your front room. I wish you’d stop behaving like this at parties, you’re showing me up and I shan’t invite you again). For those of you who choose to take the perilous path of reading my new book (all three of you), please leave a review on Amazon when you’ve finished – self-published authors really do rely on these. Unless you hate it and it made you want to carve off your own head with a nail file. Then I’d advise you don’t leave a review – I wouldn’t want you to purger yourself by saying something you don’t mean.
Anyhoo, time for me to skedaddle. The back-to-back marathon of wall-to-wall bonnets and bustles and ‘taking a turn about the room’ isn’t going to watch itself, y’know. I’m a trooper like that – I put in the hard yards, so you don’t have to.
PS: HUGE thanks again to my put-upon friend Amy for all your help and advice. It’s a better book for having your critical eye tear it to shreds…I mean, look it over. There’s a little inscription in the acknowledgements just for you. So you can feel partly to blame…I mean, as proud as me.
PPS: 800 ish words. Ah well, I’ve just edited 162,000 – I deserve a bit of slack.
PPS: Oh, and I’m struggling for a title for the third book. If you can think of one, I’ll put your name in the acknowledgements. Sorry, it’s not hard cash but just think – your name at the front of mybook…(you’re excited, right?).